Am I Traveling To Run Away?

This year, 2018, has been the year of travel for me.

I just booked my trip to Europe(!!), was also able to make my way to many other new cities I’ve once dreamed about visiting and took quite a few road trips. Without question, I’m sooo extraordinarily grateful for all of the wonderful opportunities I’ve received this year. However, as I’m looking back at photos from these incredible adventures, I’m trying to reflect on the true underlying reason I personally was travelling so much this year.

Why did I constantly feel the need to be flying to a new destination?

It may have seemed as if I was living an unbelievable life because I was a small-town girl who made her way to California, renting a room at a beautiful home in Huntington Beach, and working at the job I so desired, but in actuality, I didn’t feel satisfied.

I was living a life that I didn’t find fulfilling. I developed unhealthy habits and was surrounding myself with people who were anything but a good influence on me due to my fear of being alone.

Instead of dealing with the root issue of my unhappiness, I tried to mask it with traveling. And every time a new issue would arise in my life, it was time for me to book a flight. I had to find a way to elude my problems.

Traveling truly did, and still does, make me feel alive and happy. I loved the anonymity it granted me. I began to crave the feeling of escaping reality by being able to be whoever I wanted and doing whatever I pleased. So much so that I would plan trips one after another to the point where I was traveling 3-4 times a month. Every time I booked a new trip, I would look forward to booking another one, and another one. The issue was that I was constantly living for the future instead of living in the moment.

Don’t get me wrong, I do still enjoy traveling. I really do. But I came to the realization that there was a difference between traveling to experience and traveling to run away. I have to analyze the true reason I wanted to travel before impulsively booking a flight. Was I trying to escape a problem in my life or was I genuinely wanting to experience a new destination?

Let me reiterate once more, there is absolutely no problem with traveling. In fact, I highly recommend everyone take some time to go out and explore the world. There is just so much out there to experience outside of your comfort zone. You can acquire so much new knowledge, learn about different cultures, gain a fresh perspective in life, and meet inspiring people. However, when I was traveling to run away, I was avoiding my issues instead of resolving them.

You can try to travel in hopes of hiding from your problems but only temporarily. What’s going to happen when your plane lands back home and you have to once again face your reality? You have to learn to accept the state of things as they exist and take charge of it. If you’re not happy with the life you’re living at home, such as in my case, you have to put the effort in to change it.

With that being said, I’ve decided to take action and make my reality something that gets me excited to experience everyday. That way when it comes time for me to come back from my Europe trip (or any other trip for that matter), instead of dreading the thought of leaving, I’ll be enthusiastically anticipating what’s waiting for me once my plane lands back home.



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