Sometimes I find myself feeling very alone.
It’s rather strange to me that I’m writing about the subject of loneliness because at one time in my life, I was quite frankly, pretty embarrassed to admit that I oftentimes felt lonely.
To be completely honest, there’s still a bit (or a lot) of embarrassment looming over this topic for me. I’m still reasonably reluctant to openly talk about this feeling of loneliness that, at times, will overwhelm me, because I guess I feel ashamed?
Because to express my loneliness would mean putting my vulnerability on display, and that would make me feel emotionally exposed. (And ugh, *feelings*, am I right?)
Maybe it’s due to the incredibly interconnected society that we live in today that makes me feel as if I’m somewhat of a failure if I experience even the slightest hint of loneliness.
What I found interesting was that the times that I have felt most alone were when I was surrounded by a room full of my ‘friends’.
I was confused because doesn’t loneliness equate to physically being alone?
In actuality, I was wrong. It’s not the physical aspect of being alone but the feeling of being alone.
“Loneliness is not the physical absence of other people – it’s the sense that you’re not sharing anything that matters with anyone else.”
As it turns out, I wasn’t receiving the emotional intimacy that I didn’t even know I was seeking.
Sure I could be in a room full of people, but if all we did was discuss shallow, frivolous topics that don’t truly matter, why wouldn’t I feel empty?
We have a society full of lonely people yet it still seems taboo to tell someone you’re feeling sad or alone. On a daily basis we interact with one another on this foundation of superficial small talk. Our relationships nowadays appear to lack authenticity, depth, & meaning. And we continue to wonder why there is a constant rise in this depression & anxiety epidemic?
I believe our souls crave this deeper, pure human connection, this feeling of truly being understood.. But we live in a world where it’s the norm for people to keep their emotions to themselves. So how do we ask for something we didn’t even know we were searching for?
I’ve come to recognize that bottling up my feelings does nothing but cause unease & anguish. I’m beginning to realize that all of these varying emotions are all a beautiful part of being human, and it’s completely okay to allow yourself to experience them.
Feel the emotions, share your feelings with others, and don’t forget to let others feel safe knowing that they can share theirs with you.
Because in the end, true human connection is something that we, as social beings, ultimately need.