I hope you’re all staying safe & healthy. I’m still in quarantine waiting for the governor to say it’s safe for my line of work to return. All of this quarantine has allowed for a looot of personal reflection.
- What is my purpose?
- What do I want out of this life?
- Are my actions consistent with points (1) & (2)?
Wow, these questions for obvious reasons are ones that we all ponder at one point or another in our lives. Or maybe we spend our entire lives trying to unveil them.
What gives my life meaning? What did God put me on this earth to do?
Side note: I know not everybody believes in God and although I respect your beliefs, this is my blog so I’m going to unapologetically profess my love for God. (Currently learning how to stand up for my beliefs and not conform to please others.) Cheers to personal growth!! ;)
During this personal reflection period of my life, I think I’ve come to the realization that I’ve always truly known what my purpose was and what I wanted out of this life but I was scared I wasn’t good enough to achieve it. I was unsure in myself so I got lost along the way to try and figure it all out…
My purpose in life is to help others and share my love for God along the way. He is so good, He is real, and He is Here. All I’ve ever accomplished is through the grace of God.
What I want out of this life is to become a PA to heal others. I’ve known this was my calling but like I said, I was fearful that I wasn’t enough. And because of this thought, I’ve taken left turns when I should’ve turned right. Fortunately, I’ve managed not to venture too far off my path.
But why did I not think that I was enough?
I really tried to think about this one for a minute. People constantly tell me that I don’t give myself enough credit. I’ve come to realize that this once again stems from my ideals of perfection. I guess I just perceive myself worse than others do, but then again who doesn’t? We’ve got to remember that we are all our own worse critics.
I knew what I wanted out of this life (to become a PA) and I knew what I had to do to get there (take anatomy & physiology, maybe take the GRE, and start the CASPA applications), but the thought of failing or being rejected paralyzed me. My mind used the fear of not being enough for PA school to try and convince me that maybe this just wasn’t my purpose.
These past two years I struggled with trying to find my purpose when I truly knew what it was all along. I dabbled in different things here and there, but at the end of the day, I came to realize that nothing made me feel complete as caring for my patients did.
I read PA forums, listened to podcasts, and followed current PA students on social media. It was all very inspiring because they made me realize that if I truly wanted this, I can achieve it. It may take some time, it may take a few tries, but I’ll eventually get there. I’m on my own personal timeline that He has planned for me. And with that, there really is no rush.