First of all, I hope you’re all staying safe and healthy.
Anyone else still confused about everything that’s going on with the world right now? Just me? I find myself asking “is this real life right now?” at least five times a day.
As unsettling as everything is right now, I’ve actually learned quite a bit about myself from quarantine.
- I’ve learned to stand up for myself.
Everyone has told me since I first started working at my office there that there is this super moody nurse that has the worst attitude. She’s a 50 year old woman that acts like a child. She will pout and give attitude if she doesn’t get her way. Before quarantine, I would let her affect me in a way that would cause me anxiety every time I was scheduled with her. I would try to make sure everything is perfect for her because I was scared of getting yelled at. After quarantine, I no longer let her walk all over me. So the first day back, she gave me attitude and instead of just taking it, guess what I did? I gave it right back. I think that shocked her because she was so used to me being a pushover. But if anything at all, this quarantine taught me that I’m not just someone she (or anyone else for that matter) can push around. I’m no longer letting her bully me and it feels great!!
- I’ve learned that I need to express how I feel.
Why do we live in a time where it’s considered a win to be the one that feels less?
Oftentimes I hold back how I feel usually due to fear. Fear of how the other person will react to what I have to say, fear of *feeling* too much, fear of rejection, fear of *feeling* more than the other person?? I’m not sure.
What’s ironic is that I’ve held back my feelings in fear of losing the person. And due to the fact that I didn’t know how to communicate how I felt, I chose to distance myself instead. So what I initially didn’t want to happen (lose the person) was what I ended up doing (I lost the person). Self-sabotage. Classic Cindy.
This coronavirus pandemic has taught me that as cheesy as it sounds, life really is too short. Express how you feel. Let others know how much you appreciate them and just how much they mean to you.
- I’ve learned that as much of an introvert as I am, I crave social interactions.
I’m so blessed to quarantine with family because truthfully, if I were by myself for those long three months, I’m not sure if I could do it. I would drive myself crazy with endless thoughts and rumination. Although I valued that time with family sooo incredibly much, I still noticed that I couldn’t help but feel sad without outside social interactions.
It’s funny because after the three months, I would get so excited to speak to the cashier at the grocery store or any little bit of social interactions. I was so excited to engage in conversations with people, patients, and coworkers.
The three months in quarantine made me realize that human interactions are so crucial.
With everything starting to close once again in Los Angeles, the state of the world continues to seem uncertain. To combat the anxiety and worries for the future that comes with the uncertainty, try focusing on what you can learn or take from this experience. I know that for me, this does wonders in calming my mind : )